The morning that I sat down to write this study my husband and I got the biggest laugh when we heard our littlest boy from down the hall yell, “I don’t want to be a sidekick!” Obviously, there was an argument between two brothers and the youngest did not want to be Robin, he wanted to be Batman In reality, any one of my boys could play the part of superhero, not one is more special than the other and all three hold a superpower that makes them look particularly adorable during their time of need (or want).
It is always challenging to describe the role of a wife without offending someone because it seems like everyone is offended these days, so let’s stick with the Scripture here, God’s plan and role for us is special. Think about it, no one wants to be considered the “sidekick” when they know they have equal but different powers. Right? Right! My “superpowers” as a wife and mother are different from my husbands “superpowers.” However, we work as a team. In a way, I am his sidekick. Not because I am less of a person but because he needs me to be and I don’t mind. Truly, I don’t mind because I know that without my super powers by his side, he would be less than a man and no man wants to be less. We are to make them greater. We are always supposed to use our powers (let’s call them gifts), to lift up our husbands and make them better than they ever thought they could be. There is one gift we can all have as wives, Kindness.
Kindness is one of the most powerful gifts we have. We use it by choice, just as we choose to be patient. We must sometimes learn to be kind. Kindness is always remembered by the receiver. In the shortest Psalm in the book of Psalms there is a verse that says this about kindness…
His merciful kindness is great towards us… Psalms 117:2
Just before this verse there is a great and powerful, universal call to worship because of His kindness. His kindness makes such an impact that a great request to thank Him and worship Him for it was sought out. It was the sole focus of the entire Psalm. Kindness.
How many times in your life have you heard “Love is patient, love is kind?”
Yesterday’s focus was on patience. It was a day of learning to express love through patience. Patience and kindness are like two sides to a coin. It’s been said that patience is used to withhold negativity but kindness is used to bring a blessing. Kindness is used to make someone feel better or change their circumstances for better. It is not always innate and does not always come naturally but it is a superpower/gift any wife can have.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
Who has recently shown you kindness in words or actions? How did it make you feel?
What kindness is God prompting you to show towards your husband? Will you obey?
A kindhearted woman gains respect… Proverbs 11:16
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the burden from their neck and bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22
Why kindness? God created you to be your husband’s partner. I always think of the song by Blake Shelton, God Gave Me You. I get all emotional and cry every time I think about what that truly means. God gave us to our husbands, as much as we’d like to think we chose them, we are a gift from God. God gives perfect gifts. We are gifts to them just as Eve was God’s gift to Adam as a companion. Not a gift of ownership but one of belonging.
If God created the perfect wife for your husband, would you be her?
My answer is “YES!” Yours should be also, no matter your imperfections or his,
God does not make mistakes. We make mistakes in how we handle situations, how we love, and by the attitudes we choose. God does not change His mind about His gifts. Being your husband’s wife, helper, and lover is your divine calling.
Your challenge for today is to do something kind and unexpected today for your husband. You are to be a blessing while withholding negativity. Safeguard your husband from negativity, pray for Him today. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, just something you know he will appreciate. Show kindness in a new and unexpected way and don’t forget to be patient as well.
I am married to my high school sweetheart. We've been pressing ahead together for over 24 years. We have 5 beautiful children; 3 by my own body and 2 through foster to adopt. I wrote this Bible study in 2009, years ago, for myself and shared it on my blog. It is very dear to my heart. It's been tweaked and edited many times and I'm proud to be bringing it back to you. Over the years I received countless emails from women who credited this study with changing their marriage for the better. Since removing it from my old blog I have received just as many emails asking when it would return. I hope you enjoy spending your time in God's Word with me.