So many little things have been coming together lately and making me question my own purpose. Do you ever find yourself wondering if your purpose in this life is bigger than what you currently see in front of you? We have lived so much of our lives as women and mothers; and we have to believe that all we've been through and all we are going through has a purpose beyond our own little lives. Advice we give from our own experience or a word of encourage to another because we've been there may give purpose to some of the things we've been through. Do you ever feel you have a higher calling as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, woman?
Have you ever reflected on you life and thought, "How could God even use me?" Do you feel very insignificant and alone? Do you feel bound by the little life you have and the mundane tasks you are in charge of daily while admiring others who have found a higher calling? Nothing in your life has ever happened that seems significant enough for a powerful testimony that God can use? It was only a few years back that I felt this way, but I had this feeling inside of me that called me to do something bigger. It's a very confusing thing to feel one way about your life and being called to do the opposite.
I saw your heart last night. I don't always get to see it, but I saw it.
We were all tired from a long days work and it was my birthday. You've never made a huge deal out of birthdays. I get that some how this is because of how you grew up, how your birthdays were treated. Still, your small efforts to show me love were seen. Your kids saw it too.
Hey husbands, you know that girl that you took by the hand and promised to love and honor forever. She's worth it.
As time paces forward and the days come and go she finds herself standing in front of the mirror wondering if the years show. She puts on the cream to try to rid her eyes of the lines from laughing and the lines from worry. She wonders if she can recapture a bit of the youthful girl you fell in love with and wonders if you think she's worth it.
All the late nights rocking babies and tending to the sick ones wear on a momma. She looks at her body and knows it's not the same. She aches some days from laying carefully and awkwardly next to a child that wouldn't let her go. Her hair is dull from too many days of dry shampoo but she's surviving and hoping for a moment a peace which she often only finds in the car while it sits in the drive way; and she wonders if you still thinks she's worth it.
She sees her hand weights and yoga mat collecting dust and knows that she bought them with good intentions, just like the work out videos and running shoes. She's on her 4th cup of coffee and just trying to heave the laundry from washer to dryer. She feels like she's gotten a workout already. She imagines that she can do it all, but knows she's not meant to and yet, the thought crosses her mind as she whispers to herself, "Am I worth it?"
She shuffles the kids to bus stops and through car rider lines, signing forms and searching through backpacks. She pulls out folders and the homework then Googles how to do 5th grade math. She catches herself day dreaming while listening to a child read a book. She's dreaming about you....
She's worth it you know. She's worth coming home to and asking her about her day. She's worth a moments hug or gentle kiss. She's worth offering a minutes peace to so that she can capture a little of herself back from the day that seems dwindle her away. She's worth asking the question, "what can I do to help?." Make her heart race with words of giving love.
Your support is important.
Your love is important.
Your tenderness is important.
Your gentleness is important.
Your strength is important
She's worth it.
She just needs you to see her.
See her strength and beauty.
See her worth.
See her efforts.
She's worth lifting up.
She is worth your love, your affection, your attention, and your honor.
She is worth it.
She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. - Proverbs 3:15
In the last few weeks I have spent several hours washing my families dirty laundry at the laundromat. Each time I need a load cleaned and dried I have to deposit quarters into the machine. With each quarter I get closer to the promise that I’ll end up with a load of clean clothes. I have been think a lot about these deposits and the promise that when I leave I’ll have baskets of clean clothes and my family will have what they need for the week.
I love a good story and one that especially touches my heart and teaches me more about how to be a better wife. I want to share with you a story that truly helped open my eyes to what I was called to be...
Take a deep breath.
Four little words that play through our minds when we feel like things are spiraling out of control, when we feel like we are losing our grip, when the unexpected just took control over our day; take a deep breath.
Go ahead, breathe in deep.
Now, let it out.
Do it again and again until you feel the calm sweep back over you.
Your heart rate steadies, your blood pressure comes down, and you can focus on what truly matters.
You know that place where you go to hide, to be alone for awhile? For some of us, it might be under the sheets, curled up in the corner of the couch, in our cars after pulling in the drive way, or even in a hot shower so you can hear nothing except the water streaming down.
We all have that place. We all have those reasons. Maybe you need to escape, maybe you are afraid, maybe you have let your thoughts run amuck and just need a minute to settle them down. Maybe you are weary from fear and shame; and the burdens of life are weighing heavy. You just need to escape and hide.
If one of your babies was lost out in the world you wouldn't stop looking for them. Ever. Right?
In this throw away world, it’s uncommon that you hear of someone going after something they’ve lost because of the abundance they have. I bet you we don't even notice most things we've lost. We typically keep moving forward in a world where losing one thing compared to the other ninety-nine things we have is okay. We have so much that we value that in reality, we value very little. If you had $100 would you really miss $1 of that if it were lost? It’s just 1%, right? No big deal. When we have fewer of something, we tend to value it more. If you have 3 cars and one is wrecked or out of commission you notice. It probably bothers you or upsets your daily plans. What if one of those things you were missing was one of your children?
In 2015, I was in a real spiritual battle. My husband and I were embarking on something that the Lord had called us to do and within that the Devil knew that God was placing us into the battle for a purpose. We remain victorious as long as we are in His Will. Let me take you back to a journal entry.
We all have those days that just don't go as planned. We can all relate to feeling like we have too much on our plate and we just don't know how we are going to do it all. The day to day can feel overwhelming, much less the year to year to do list. I'm so thankful that this method of organizing my anxious thoughts and to do list works...
There are so many memories we forget because we don't record them. I found this little gem of a memory in an old blog post. It serves as a brilliant reminder of someone I deeply love and grieve for many days, but it also serves to help me remember a precious memory I can share for generations.
I don't know about you but the adult me has struggled. It makes me sad to know that my adult life, up until a few years ago, was miserable. My battle with my weight led to a cycle of being miserable, unhappy, and depressed for so long. I am so thankful that I finally found a way to break that cycle...
I have been mothering boys for a long time. The one thing I always share concerning raising boys, is raising boys whose future wives won't hate me. They know how to help out and pitch in. They may not always do it willingly or in a timely manner but they know how to get it done. Here is a simple chore chart if you need to help keep your little ones (or big ones) on track.
Christmas with too much stuff is exhausting and I'm hearing the cries of Momma's and Daddy's everywhere that they are sick of stuff. It seems like this season has taken a turn like I've never seen before.
Blueberries are one of my very favorite fruits. They grow wild around here. I have a friend that made me blueberry jam recently and I ration it's deliciousness.
I don't know why I write. I feel like most of the time they are just ramblings in my head and I just need to get them out. Occasionally, I receive a kind email or comment thanking me for sharing but for the most part this is just an empty space for me to pour out.
As my husband and I are moving closer, day by day, towards the adoption of our foster babies God has been opening up scripture and circumstances He needs us to be aware of.
This morning on my way to church my 15 year old son was sitting next to me with earphones in, mad. James , my husband, had to work today to be off Friday, a VERY important day for our family.
Foster Care | Savings, paying off debt, making room, filling out paper work, training, classes, home inspections...so many things to do to prepare, to feel prepared.
I can rattle off to you every aspect of my life that feels like it falls short of glorious and lack of consistency is what keeps it from being so. Maybe because it's not meant to be so