My blog has always been personal to me. It has never been for anyone else but myself. It is where I write, it may be terrible, messy, chaotic, but it is always truth. I write even if no one reads, I write because I was called to do so. I can not make promises about how often I will write, when, or about what. It is always what is on my heart at that moment. It could be my work, my children, my hobbies, anything I want to touch on and share outside of my own head. Today, after a few days of God pricking my heart, I am writing....
A little background...My life gets messy fast. I am a mom of all boys, 3 of them, 4 if you count my husband, 5 if you count our dog. I love every minute of being their queen, their hearts, their pillar of strength when they need it. However, I get distracted easily. I let little bits of chaos begin to build in various places of our lives. I forget to remember to do things, I forget to write them down; my journals, my planners, my calendars may go empty for days.
God has been calling me to work for Him and I don't know what He wants from me. I don't know the direction He is sending me in but I know that He made my days, he prepares my way and He guides my feet through this journey of life. I count the little blessings and give Him glory for them. However, I lose sight of Him when I become too busy to notice the little gifts He leaves daily.
This morning, His calling while I am home alone has been strong. Yesterday He kept me in tears. They were only from the overwhelming love that radiates from Him. He has placed me here where heaven meets earth. He placed my soul here to do something besides the daily grind. I struggle with purpose...I STRUGGLE WITH PURPOSE. What is my purpose? I know I am to be a wife and mother. What else? What more does He have for me?
I laid prostrate on the floor this morning and asked Him to speak to me. He calls me by name. "Aimee, you can not know what I have for you until you open My Word." I got up, went for my Bible and the first thing I did, something I've never done, was put my lips against His word with love. OH! The feeling of loving Him...like kissing His face, I kissed His word, tears streaming down my face.
Opening His Word and letting the message fall open can be amazing. Some say it can be dangerous but there is nothing dangerous about His word. God is calling me to plant my flag, high on a hill for all to see and so that He can be present in our lives, gently, like the dew on the ground. He will rise up like the heat from the desert floor.
HAGGAI! Oh, Haggai, your message of Hope of God's involvement in our lives is so beautiful. It is truly our souls desire to be near our Father and Haggai brings us the promise. We must take our spiritual matters seriously. God wanted there to be a PLACE OF WORSHIP! A Temple for us to bring our worship too. Now we go so He can clean us and wash us...that alone is a symbol of servitude from our Father.
Haggai 2:19 Spoke to me about His promise! He speaks to me through His word but He also speaks to me in that small voice that says...
"Come back to Me. My Spirit will bless you. I will remove the chaos you are praying about. I have a job for you to do. You can not be trusted with this job unless you stay close to me. Talk to me in everything you do. Do not let yourself become distracted. Do not forget I have called you to serve many but you are weak and afraid. My people need you now more than ever. Write this down, so you don't forget."
I will kiss his face daily, the great I AM is calling me to love Him back. His love for me pulls me in. My purpose is greater than I can see. I can not see over His horizon but I will trust Him.
Readers: Please be in prayer for me and the purpose He has for me.
Bless you in advance!